Doubt....

do you ever doubt what you do?

or

why you are doing something?

i don't know if it's for the lack of sun today,

or the fact i feel a little under the weather

or 

i just didn't get my mojo back after a long run

but today

i am doubting why i do or want to do 

Bee & Mason.

i mean deep down inside i know this is what i

truly want to do everyday, all day

but the reality is 

i have a full time job that expects me to

live and breath it everyday, all day.

and in order to go anywhere within the company

i better step up to the plate and drink the koolaid.

this troubles me.

shit this posting with probably cause troubles for me

but i really struggle with 

what my heart and soul wants to do

and what i need to do to keep paying the bills.

i'm being pretty damn transparent here but what the hell.

maybe the universe will hear me and send me 

a clear message on what to do

and help me clear my heart of doubt.

thanks for listening.

ciao,

f